To be honest I thought there would be more to write about when it came to a broken ankle blog, but the fact of the matter is that there’s not a lot to it, except sit back and wait for the body to heal itself. I know, boring eh? It’s been almost 4 weeks now and I was over it about 3 and a half weeks ago. But I can’t rush these things. There’s speculation about that the bone will heal stronger than before but I’m not convinced. Logic would tell me that if you break something it’s never quite as strong second time around. I’d happily be proved wrong on that point.
So four weeks of what feels like watching the days go by without me. Sure there’s been the pleasure of sleeping in and forced rest, of been waited on and offered sympathy but I just can’t help the feeling I’m wasting time. I know there’s still plenty of things I could be doing but seriously when you’re actually sitting down all day with nowhere to go and mostly isolated from the rest of the world, your motivation disappears quicker than a bar tab at a work do. I had great plans when I first accepted that I was going to be laid for a few weeks that I would be all up-to-date with my filing and other computer work, but instead I find myself staring at this laptop trying to get inspired and realising that in general the days have done a runner.
It reminds me of an old adage that ‘if you want something done, give it to a busy person’. There’s truth in that (which is why it has attained adage status) because a busy person is energised, they become like some sort of human dynamo, doing more because they’re doing more. And you feel good when you’re achieving stuff, ticking off to-do lists and coming away feeling like you’ve had a productive day – and that in turn gets you even more amped for the next day.
Conversely you can spiral down the other way. The less you have to do, the less you want to do and the longer it all seems to take. I often used to wonder about certain people on benefits (possibly condescendingly?) and be puzzled why it would take them all day to do the groceries and housework when I would be fitting that in after work and before CSI on any given Monday night. But now I can understand how that happens, and while I still don’t like it, maybe I’ll be a bit more sympathetic.
The malaise has got so bad that at the moment I’m finding I’m working in the weekend just to try and keep up with my normal work schedule, because the days don’t seem to be as productive as they used to be. It’s frustrating being caught somewhere between being sick and actually taking time off and being fully active – it’s like some kind of no mans land where life won’t wait for you while you’re on the mend.
By the way, the ankle is definitely better. There’s a noticeable reduction in swelling, I’m able to put more weight on it, last Thursday I even put on normal shoes and drove, working the clutch with it. Yeh that was probably getting a bit ahead of myself there and paid for it the next day but things are slowly returning to normal. I have an appointment in two days time with the fracture clinic so will be handing back the ‘can’t hate them enough’ crutches and most likely the moon boot. I’ll probably be told to take it easy for another two weeks and wear the tubular sock which supports the ankle nicely but makes shoes a little tight.
So what’s the cure to zero motivation? Well the cure is really that my ankle get back to normal ASAP and I can resume life as it was, particularly something physical like the gym and surfing, just to get those endorphins going again. In the meantime all I can do is try to make the best of a situation, learn from it and come out of it a more understanding and patient individual – I just wish that it didn’t take so long!