Goldfish packed their bags and joined Michael Jackson

I know Benjamin Franklin said only death and taxes were certain in life but surely that doesn’t apply to goldfish? For starters they don’t drive on our roads or attend our schools (they have their own) and they’re not interested in supporting our pointless and costly referendums so maybe if they aren’t required to pay tax perhaps they could be exempted from dying too? Especially the ones that live in my pond – please, pretty please!